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For the last few months, I’ve been wrestling with a major decision. Whether to stay married or not.
Obviously, this isn’t a decision you make overnight… so I “asked” for guidance and an answer to my question of whether I should stay married.
I got my answer today.
I just learned that my wife has been lying to me, doctors, friends and family for the last 6 months – The thing that creates the challenge for me is that this has directly impacted health and well-being of my daughter. Of course, I’ve been lied to before….I’ve never made a big deal about being lied to, but when it comes to the health of my daughter…I don’t compromise.
Now, before you go all sappy on me with the “Oh, Antonio… I’m so sorry to hear that… bla, bla, bla…” Please know that this is what I ASKED for. I asked for a definitive, unquestionable sign to let me know if I should be in this marriage and I got what I asked for.
So — this is a GOOD thing!
Why?
Because I asked and I was given…
Most people attach themselves to the outcome of what they ask for – almost defeating the purpose of asking.
This is what holds a lot of people back from getting what they want. They’re unable to make the ‘hard’ choices when they show up.
For example:
The guy who wants to start his own business but is deathly afraid of quitting his job…
The woman in the abusive relationship who is afraid to leave…
The guy who hangs on to a horribly failing marriage because he doesn’t want to “look bad” or “because of a child”…
So, what ends up happening is they (we) stay in the same old rut…getting the same results. I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times, “If you want to keep getting what you’re getting, keep doing what you’re doing” – THE single best piece of advice my father gave me before he died.
So, today is the first day of the rest of my life.
Plus this is a great opportunity to discover how I attracted this situation in the first place.
I feel good.
I feel refreshed.
I feel inspired.
I hope you feel the same way.
You can see this 1 of 2 ways:
1) Antonio’s getting a divorce and that’s soooo horrible
2) Antonio is finally going to be able to live the life he truly deserves…in the relationship he deserves…with the person he deserves.
I cannot do this in the relationship I’m in… so please be HAPPY for me.
Divorce is not always a bad thing…. is it a bad thing if a woman is being abused and finally gets the courage to leave… NO! She’d be applauded and considered courageous…
So please, please, please, don’t go into the “default mode” of “I’m so sorry to hear that…” Know in your heart that I’m fine with this and I’m happy the universe has answered my asking.
This is a good thing.
Love you all,
Antonio
P.S. If there are any single ladies looking for a ‘baby daddy’… hit me up. Just kidding…not really
I could tell there was a lot on your mind this afternoon when I called you which is why I followed my Gut and said… You can talk to him about what your calling about at another time. I applaud your courage to do what is best for you and ultimately your child as well. Happy parents make happy children who grow into happy adults.
I was wondering what happened to you today
Thanks sweetie. I appreciate you.
I understand brother. I am going through a similar situation of my own. Celebrate life man, u only get one shot at this.
I had a father that married 7 times. I thought that he had it wrong. Upon the 7th time, he married a woman that matched as an equal. She loves him dearly and they made a great team. He devloped Alzheimer’s. He made the right decision..I don’t think anyone could love him more and give to him more unconditionally and unselfishly then she. So for me ending a 20 year marriage would be liberating to me and to such a good man i married. Both of us to have the opportunity to find the love that is equal to our personalities. Congratulations on choosing happiness. Love J.
Johnna,
This is beautiful.. Thanks for sharing this!!
Bravo Antonio! It’s not always so easy to step back and really acknowledge that even the “yucky,” “hard” stuff is a response to what we’re asking for. I admire your courage. It’s like you’re just jumping in and taking it by the horns and calling it what it is. It doesn’t mean you’ll bypass the hard stuff, but it will sure make it count for something. I like to say “if I’m going to crawl through the brambles, at least I want to come out on the other side with a handful of diamonds.” Attitude is everything. And you’ve got that down. The way you stage life determines the outcome.
Fly high (or as high as you can) while you move through this transition,
Rhegina
Get immediate to a FREE teleseminar on manifesting what you want.
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Hey Antonio
It’s been a while since we spoke. While I wouldn’t say that I’m happy to hear that things didn’t work out with your wife, I am happy that you’ve recognized the situation for what it is and that you are making the decision to move on. It’s great to have an example of how to interpret the things that happen in life and how not to mope about things that don’t necessarily go how we planned or how we wanted them to go. You have shown that it is important not get too caught up in the emotions of the outcome of a particular situation but rather to strive for a full understanding of the real implications and also that how a situation affects you is totally dependent upon how you choose to react to it.
WOW! Antonio, it is amazing how the universe delivers exactly what we ask for in our lives at all times.
This is positive, in that you have asked for what is true and what is real and therefore other things are being removed from your life so that what is true and real (i.e. true love) can be manifested.
Your desire for true love is now in the process of evolving. Your willingness to not settle for anything less than “true love” is manifesting!
I cannot wait to see what the universe has in store for you.
Settle for nothing less than the best!
BIG SMILES, BIG HUGS!
Lady Diana
Thanks so much for the kind words and encouragement. I appreciate you Lady Diana!!
I’m struggling with that question of whether to stay married or not as well. My wife is in love with another man and says she is still in love with me. We have a beautiful child and a home. She goes to see him up to 4 times a month. We had agreed to see other people once in a while because it seemed like it was human nature to be drawn to someone (once in a while). I did not think that she would fall in love with someone else. That is not what I agreed on.I realize that women have a different way of approaching these matters and maybe this was intended to happen. We have been reading and practicing this new approach to life with new age belief system with Abraham-Hick and more but I have reached that ideal state were everything is allright. I will ask the question and see what comes. What do you think?
David, this is a truly ‘epic’ question that has be debated and fought over for hundreds of years. I have my thoughts and theories about it, but because of other complications in my marriage, we weren’t able to truly experience polyamory (open relationships). I’m not ‘passing blame’ but from my experience, just having the conversation about having an open relationship made me feel closer to her…but again, because of some other things she did, the relationship couldn’t continue.
Two good friends of mine have written some interesting pieces on it… The first, Kenya and her husband, are documenting their experience with their relationship. It’s an ongoing discussion about all the dynamics of this type of relationship. You can visit her blog here: Polyamory – Open Relationships
The other is Steve Pavlina. I don’t know him personally, but I’ve read a lot of his work and he’s very smart…he talks about his experience with it as well Steve Pavlina’S Blog Post on Polyamory
nice post.
it made me think i have made the right decision too. And I love your father’s advice, it’s so true!
Glad my experience could be a blessing to others. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a note.